This morning was one of those mornings where my eternal optimism (that’s a joke, y’all) and deep breathing techniques came in handy. I left my house fifteen minutes early (YES!) which means I had time to get Starbucks (DOUBLE YES!) and hop onto 84 just in time to get stuck in traffic FOREVER.

Normally, traffic makes my blood boil. But this morning, for some reason, I was able to take it in stride. In fact, the only thing that annoyed me on my entire morning commute was this (apparent) USC alum I got stuck behind on my way onto campus.

I get it. I really do. You’re proud that you went to one of the most respected private universities in the nation, and that you survived (presumably) four years in one of LA’s scariest neighborhoods. But do you really need the sticker AND the vanity plates? It’s like wearing plaid and paisley together. You really need to pick one or the other, because together, it’s just not a good look.