I was headed to my cardio kickboxing class after work on Monday when an older woman approached me. She must have been in her early sixties, and was also headed into the gym. She smiled and said hello. I smiled and said hello back. I held the door open for her as she entered the gym behind me, and again as we moved from the lobby into the courtyard.
She seemed to be in a hurry. Her pace quickened, and by the time we were entering the locker room, she was ahead of me. Far enough ahead for me to notice her unusually youthful workout clothes. Her track jacket, her matching yoga pants …
… and the pink thong that peeked out from beneath them.
I wanted to say something. But what was I going to say? “Excuse me, ma’am, but you’re about forty years too old to pull off that trend, and frankly, it’s too trashy to be bothered with, anyway?” You can maybe get away with saying that to an older friend or relative, but not a stranger. (And I try not to make a habit of insulting people on campus. You never know who your next boss is going to be.)
I know that everyone wants to feel sexy. And I know that for a lot of women, thongs are a big part of feeling sexy. They’re skimpy, they’re often saucy, and, for the most part, they’re wedgie-free (which, as far as I’m concerned, is the only benefit).
But REALLY? You’re a legitimate adult, not some trampy teenager running around the county fairgrounds trying to hook the dolt from the local feed store. Get some real underwear and pull up your freaking pants.